HOW TO SEND AN EVIL GREETING CARD
Sending a card is easy with BertisEvil.TV's Virtual Evil Greeting Card Service. Just follow the instructions at each step along the way. I also want to let you know that the cards are stored in a non-indexed directory so only you and the recipient will know how to find the card. This directory is also pretty secure from spammers, so send your card knowing you will not end up on any junk list.

After you have completed the card, you will be shown a preview. If you do not like your card, you may edit it and then send it, or just cancel the request. The recipient will receive e-mail advising where to find the card.

STEP #1: PICK A PICTURE
Please select a picture from the list below using the little Radio Button selector. You may only pick one picture per card. If you want to see a full size image of a picture, just click on it. You might want to do that before filling in any information on this page, just so you do not risk losing your work after returning from viewing the image.
Hitler and his favorite General
During World War II, General Berhtolomue Kieffer III lead the SS in the burning of the Reichstag. He is known to be one of Hitler's most diabolical Generals. We have reason to believe that he is either a clone or an ancestor of Bert.
Pie Throwing
This rare picure shows that Bert has been seen at the scene of one of the most recent pie-incidents. It is a publicly known secret that Bert has been supporting Linux from the beginning, so we have reason to believe that he is one of the major forces behind the Pie Terrorists.
Crop Circle Bert
For months I tried to hack the F.B.I. crop circle files because an anonymous friend told me about a crop circle in the shape of Bert's head. Yesterday I finally made it in. This picture was taken back in 1948, because crop circles weren't very common tback then, local authorities didn't file it. After a few years the F.B.I. found it in a private collection of a local police officer. He died two months later in a train crash. Why the F.B.I. tried to hide this evidence, I'm not sure. Maybe they already knew about Bert's links with the extra-terrestial.
Toet Anch Bert
As we stated earlier, Bert seems to be ad old as the world. Anyhow, that long that we suspect he's responseble for enslaving thousands of Egyptians during the regency of Amon Ra. This foto shows clearly the evidence that he by then already was suffering from grotesque dellusions by creating such a huge statue of himself.
The worlds best kept secret
Has all that we have been taught a total lie? Is the Church trying to cover-up the truth about how we "came to be"? Is Bert More EVIL then anyone could have Ever Imagined!?! We might never find the truth but, you can't at least give that Painting a second thought.
Bad influence!
Here's a picture we dug up from the archives. The look on Berts face says it all. Ernie’s favorite hang out is a Juice Bar on the South side of Sesame Street called The Jugg Shack. This picture was taken when Ernie had tricked Bert into thinking that a Pigeon Exposition was going on inside. Bert was overheard asking several times "Where are the pigeons, Ernie?" Shortly after this picture was taken Ernie bought Bert a lap dance and he passed out.
Bertsux V.1.0
Now you can have a real EVIL operating system on your computer. You can install it on any machine, from an old IBM or commodore of the late eighties to the newest pentiums! (it won't probably work anyway). If you thought Windows is a naughty program, try Bertsux V.1.0 and you'll be in love with Billyboy Gates!
Wanted by the FBI
The U.S Government believes that Bert is an informant for Bin Laden, telling Him when and Where to attack. U.S officials have not been able to talk to Bert about this possible connection cause of his Muppet Immunity. The FBI has put Bert on their most wanted list, see picture below.

STEP #2: NAME AND E-MAIL INFORMATION
In the boxes below, please enter both your's and the recipient's name and e-mail addresses.

PLEASE BE CERTAIN OF RECIPIENT'S E-MAIL ADDRESS

Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Recipient's Name:
Recipient's E-Mail Address:

STEP #4: ENTER YOUR TITLE & MESSAGE
In the box below, please enter your message. Please feel free to use HTML to express yourself!
Card Title
Your Message
STEP #5: SIGN YOUR CARD
Please fill in below, how you would like to sign your card. Examples would be:
  • I knew it!
  • Yours truly, Evil Bert
  • Evil Me
STEP #7: PROCEED TO PREVIEW OR START OVER
You are now ready to preview your card! To do so, just click on the PREVIEW button below. If you want to clear the form and start all over, select START-OVER. Your card will not be sent until you press the SEND-CARD button on the preview screen.