The following is an interview with Elmo, the cutest alleged heroin and cocaine addict. Some scenes deemed too explicit by the editor have been cut out, but it still remains very graphic. Reader's discretion is advised. This interview was sent in by some guy named Azazael and was reformatted by Snicker Furfoot, Esq.
Interviewer: So Elmo, how long have you lived on Sesame Street?
Elmo: Elmo guess it's been about 8 years now. Elmo the newest one here.
Interviewer: What was it like when you first moved here?
Elmo: Oh, it was really nice! Everyone was so nice to Elmo! It was like a dream! Then Elmo met Bert...
Interviewer: Um, yeah?
Elmo: Uh, huh.
Interviewer: What happened when you met Bert?
Elmo: Oh, sorry. Elmo been having trouble staying focused lately (this was later attributed to Elmo's drug abuse) Well, everyone has been telling Elmo to stay away from Bert. Elmo thought they were kidding. But--
Interviewer: They weren't.
Elmo: Not at all! When Elmo first met Bert, Bert pretended to be Elmo's friend. Bert showed Elmo around. Then Bert started to do mean things.